Filipino Funeral Traditions

I recently attended the last night wake of a relative in a barangay in Maddela, Quirino province. My family stayed until the funeral rites the following morning. My uncle's family is somewhat traditional and have observed a lot of customs that they themselves could not explain. But as they say, you will lose nothing in observing traditions.

White headbands (Ilokano: baridbed) - traditionally, the white headbands are worn to suppress headache caused by excessive crying. Now, even though the members of the family don't cry enough, they were the headbands as an identification. They are worn throughout the wake until the funeral.

Black bar pins - they are also worn by the immediate family and close relatives to signify mourning. They are worn until the 40th day of death even after the funeral ceremony.

Food offering (Ilokano: atang) - the family pretend that the person is still alive and separate a portion of whatever is served to the visitors and place it in front of the photo.

Here are some that I have never seen before.

Chicken offering - the chickens (hen and rooster) are beheaded before the coffin is taken out of the house. The reason behind, these chickens will go ahead and crow to announce the arrival of the dead in the life beyond (tapno agtaraok ket mariing ni San Pedro).

Diram-os (washing of face) - after the funeral rites, family members and relatives go through diram-os using the water from boiled guava leaves. This is to ward off the presence of evil spirits that may have got into the individuals while in the cemetery. After that, each got a handful of steamed glutinous rice to eat (that was not explained to me, but I did not perform any of these anyway).

Other customs include:
Not sweeping the floor because another family member might follow the dead.
Not taking a bath on the duration of the wake lest another death may occur in the family. This is followed by golgol (shampooing) after the burial to wash any power of evil spirit.

When my father and grandfather died, even though their remains stayed in our house for days, our family did not observe most of these customs, except for wearing the black bar pin. Many visitors told us what to do and not to do, but because we could not get enough rational explanation, we did not observe these traditions. We swept the floor so dust won't accumulate and we took a bath everyday!

10 Commandments

I have not been productive in my writing outputs since last year. I am trying so hard but I just can't find time sometimes, or when I have plenty of time, I can't find something worth writing. For productivity sake, I started by cleaning my home office, our bedroom and technically the entire house, with the help of the hubby of course.

I found the tidiness inspiring. I opened my computer and started working. Before doing personal stuffs, I needed to attend to my office work first. I also need to catch up with reports and planning. The clean house made a lot of difference. I guess my first rule of productivity, clean and declutter!

I am also reading a book now called Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Somehow, her insights is driving me to accomplish something. She begun her book by stating her 12 Commandments and Secrets of Adulthood, and that encouraged me to write my own commandments. But I consider them more of life lessons, something I learned or results of experiences or allowing me to experience new things. After much taught, I have come up with just 10.

1. Be Earlie
2. Find your place
3. Wonder and wander
4. Respond, not react
5. Listen
6. Keep it simple but not mediocre
7. Show love to difficult people including yourself
8. Take risks
9. Laugh or cry, it's ok
10. Pray

Practicing Radical Hospitality

The Congregational Practice of Radical Hospitality
Congregations that practice Radical Hospitality demonstrate an active desire to invite, welcome, receive, and care for those who are strangers so that they find a spiritual home and discover for themselves the unending richness of life in Christ. Radical describes that which is drastically different from ordinary practices, outside the normal, that which exceeds expectations and goes the second mile.

--Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations (www.fivepractices.org)

As the newly elected lay leader in my local church, I have been thinking what it is that I could do to improve the situation of the local church.

I belong to a very small local church with more or less 20 adult members and 10 kids who regularly attend Sunday worship. I have been a member of that church since I was eight, I guess. I attended children's Sunday school classes, then taught, joined outreach programs until I moved to Manila for college. Somehow, I have witnessed the ups and downs of the congregation. I have seen how the congregation struggled with leadership, finances, and properties. The old building where we used to hold our services is already replaced with a new, larger one; only it has not been completed yet.

It has been over a year now when I started regular attendance in my small local church again, having moved and married in Isabela. Now that I hold a key leadership position, I have been wondering how we could grow as individuals and as a congregation in faith and ministry.

My mom, who is the Church Council Chairperson, and I talked about how we should move on. We have been trying to assess the situation of the local church but we cannot sum up everything. Most of our observations are on the negative side--most members are not tithers/givers, they come late on Sunday, they don't want to hold leadership roles, they are not commited to the ministry, they are not exposed to the affairs of the church outside of the local church, they are not willing to attend activities other than Sunday worship, they do not participate in the Bible study, they do not read their devotional materials, etc.

On the other hand, we don't think that our local church is weak--we earnestly pay our connectional obligations, we can pay our pastor's salary and benefits, we produce leaders in the higher levels of the church, we have children's ministry, we have two outreach points.

So what could be lacking? What could be wrong?

To address what we thought are problems, I facilitated a round table discussion, though we were not literally in a round table. My aim was to enable each member to speak and share what they think about the church and its ministries. It is more than a meeting but prayerfully and reflectively considering the life of our local church and how the church is relevant to the lives of individual members and their families. Of course we did away with parliamentary procedures! And for the first time, I saw how eager each member to share their insights. I know it is a long and slow process. But I believe it will be worth whatever it is that we spend on this consultative process. The first step is to have an honest and prayerful conversation.

We started answering sort of self-examination questions like:
What makes you excited in going to church?
What makes you stay in this small local church?
What makes you sad about our local church?
What makes you tired in your spiritual life?
When did you see God work in all these?

In that moment, I knew that I was exercising radical hospitality. This kind of hospitality is not only shown to new members or visitors, but also to members--being sensitive enough to let them in into the decision-making process, know their insights, and encouraging them to be engaged in the life and ministries of the local church. I think that for a long time, I have been very comfortable in sitting in my favorite spot in the church, gave my tithes and offering, and attended regularly Sunday worships but actually did not mind about the relationships that exist in my local church.

Our conversations emphasized the importance of the established relationships inside the local church, where members feel that they are part of the family whenever they go to church on Sunday. Many are excited to come on Sundays because they love to see the kids and to bring their children to Sunday school. Many are inspired because of how the lives of other members are lived. That made me realized that maybe many are not involved in the ministries or seem to not be growing spiritually because they are being left out in our "family" as we have focused so much in planning programs, reporting, earning the building fund, and mandating people to take leadership positions. When in fact, we could have started knowing what they wanted in the first place. Begin with relationship! We need to be more hospitable with our own family members.

After the first meeting, we agreed to meet some more and continue answering self-examination questions until we have all tackled the Five Practices of Fruitful Congregation (as written by Robert Schase), until we have come up with our vision-mission-goals statement, and maybe until such time that each member will fully engage and grow in the life and ministry of the local church. It is like going back to square one. But I like it more that way rather than trying to accomplish written programs with just few people involved.

I know that this will be a difficult, and maybe painful, process but I am challenged to be more hospitable and sensitive to needs of my family members. We will be moving to more sensitive issues like giving, tithing, getting involved in missions, and taking up leadership roles. But my hope is each one will show a radical hospitality.

Moving On

I moved back to my home province, Isabela, over a year ago. I admit it was some sort of a painful process for me. But because I was doing it to be with the love of my life, I have to persevere. I believed I can adopt, and I think I did!

When everything was packed and I was getting ready to leave our apartment in few days, I wrote a note with a checklist of the things that I will be missing:

1. McDo coke float and Wendy's biggie ice tea
2. Tuesdays meeting (and eating) with DRP Core Team
3. Dinners and movies with Eufer
4. Walking, hiking, biking at QC Circle, Ninoy Aquino Wildlife, Luneta, and Lamesa Ecopark
5. Late night Mister Kabab food tripping with Kris and Ken
6. SM, Trinoma, Robinsons (isama na rin ang Puregold at Waltermart)
7. Central Vesper Choir, practices, and dinners
8. UMC Headquarters, people and place
9. Timezone fun times (I still have credits in my powercard.)
10. Bus, fx, and jeepney rides and getting stuck in traffic (also MRT and LRT)

With the feeling of nostalgia, I looked back into this list, and realized that I have indeed moved on, and is moving forward everyday--not without these things, people, and places but recreating them in many other things, people, and places; and savoring the moments whenever I have to experience them again. I am not really out of the metro, I still go there once in while and still get the feel of what my life had been. Along the way of adjustment, I have created a new list to compensate:

1. Homemade fruit shakes and teas, which is lot healthier than McDo's and Wendy's
2. Meeting with annual youth officers--some I host at our house
3. Short and long phone calls with Eufer
4. Early morning or late night walks around the subdivision and to the farm with Jonathan
5. Late night conversation with the "Team A" at school (sometimes with food)
6. Trip to local market, grocery stores, and shopping malls.
7. Zion UMC members, especially the kids
8. Home office (with all the creative mess)
9. Neighborhood visits and playing with the kids
10. Weekly long bus rides--bus companies should be thinking of frequent rider rewards!

Being use to moving made me more adoptable to changes. I think the only difficult thing is finding my place in the community. Aside from my relatives, I am not familiar with any other person or family in our subdivision. If I plan to stay longer here, I think I should make an extra effort in knowing my neighbors. That's the challenge, I guess.

Cauayan City Gawaygaway-yan Festival 2012

It's been years since I last spent Holy Week in Cauayan. This week, I just stayed home but it is a work-full week. It also happens that the city is celebrating the Gawaygaway-yan Festival. So it's festive yet reflective week. Tiangges are all around but the best part of going to the Old Centro is food tripping! I went there twice this week looking for something but did not actually buy a lot except for a pair of slipper. Just walking around the block and looking at excited children already satisfied my eyes.

Gawaygaway-yan Festival is celebrated from March 30 to April 14. This festival showcases vegetable harvests from each barangay. It also commemorates the hardwork and creativity of the people of Cauayan giving tribute to their ancestors, the Gaddangs. The Gaddangs were the first settlers of Cauayan. It is said that they were fond in planting vegetables. Below are the rest of the activities for this festival.

When On A Tight Schedule

We are living on a fast paced world. This is given. But the ways people respond to that pace vary. There are some who easily cope while others linger a bit.

I am raised in a home where everything need to be done the right way at the right time, where things need to be put in their proper places at all times, or if misplaced, "look with your eyes, not with your mouth."

As a child, I followed a schedule posted at the back of our bedroom door. My day is timed from the moment I wake in the morning until the hour when I should go to bed. All activities has a corresponding timestamp: 5:00am - wake up; 5:00-5:15 - prayer and devotion; 5:15-5:30 - fix bed and clean room... 12:00 - arrive from school, lunch; 12:45 - go back to school; and the time goes up to 9:00pm - sleeping time. There was also a checklist on the things I should do on a weekend.

That training, I think, made me to always run after time or have the feeling that time is running so fast that I often lose if I were not able to accomplish anything for a day. It seems that rest and so-called free time are rare commodities. This kind of training was even professionalized when I took my journalism degree. Deadlines are DEADLINES! Because of this, I feel that I am always working on a tight schedule.

Admittedly, there are times that it is difficult to cope with schedules; and the feeling of weariness, tiredness, and helplessness can strike me anytime and make me even more guilty of seemingly not doing anything worthwhile. Sometimes I linger and slow down but again backlogs are piling on my desk and lingering does not cross out a task in my checklist.

Checklist and Calendar/Journal. I have a lot of commitments with different organizations and forgetting an appointment or task is very likely without my ever faithful checklist (but honestly, sometimes I still forget something). But keeping checklist helps a lot. I keep one on paper, on my desktop, and on my phone. Post-its are also helpful especially for keeping ideas. The journal is for longer notes to myself or for reflections and keeping my calendar. On my phone, I use Astrid Tasks. It's very convenient because it syncs schedules/tasks from my email and even display funny comments.

The Best Time. I am not a morning person, I have accepted that long time ago. Though I can do meetings in the morning, I am not in my best energy. My mind seems to switch on after lunch, so I have to make most of that time until before dinner to work on the things on my checklist. Then continue after dinner and I can go up until midnight or a little past that. So instead of trying so hard to work during the morning and waste my energy, I usually use the time reading and doing household chores. Know your best time and work on it.

I am a very mobile person, too. I travel a lot, and most of the times travel disrupt my routine. So to keep up, I have learned the following:

Wander and Wonder. To keep me from being bored, I wander and wonder. I learned to appreciate small things that will brighten my day--a child smiling, funny conversations, etc. I also take pictures to capture the memories especially fleeting moments. Wandering around the block also helps to clear my mind. And to enhance my problem-solving skills, I usually ask "what if" questions to keep my mind occupied. I doodle and read a book, too!

Travel Light (but bring extras). Packing checklist helps and also knowing the right way to fold your clothes. I use vacuum bags a lot. They take away unnecessary air and spaces. I also make an inventory of my clothes and plan ahead what to wear on certain days. I am not an expert in traveling light because I always bring an extra pair or two. I have experiences that I have to stay an extra day so at least I have clean clothes to wear. I have also learned to mix and match. I usually wear jeans that can match different styles of tops. Bring extra because you'll never know about weather changes, too.

Stay Charged. Even if they say that charging your phone or your gadgets even though they still have battery charges is not advisable, it's better to go out of your home with batteries fully charged. You do not know when you need them especially in cases of emergency. So before I leave, I make sure I plug-in.

Communicate Back Home. Stay in touch with your loved ones. Or bring something that reminds you of them, a picture in your wallet may do. When I am away, I make sure to send a note, email or text to my husband everyday. I also chat with friends and family. I always have to deal with separation anxieties but having a daily connection at home helps me to cope.

Keep Friends Everywhere. There are friends who are really friends, who will come to your rescue, stay with you late at night or take a walk with you. I learned to keep those friends whom I can call whenever I am in town. The good thing, they can accompany you to places, too!

Plan Z. As an event planner/organizer, I always keep alternative plans. My friend and I have a mantra: "Be prepared to execute Plan Z" if all else fail. When I am on a tight schedule, these alternative plans work!

Go Home. There's no place like home, indeed. My first place to go when I go home, the bedroom and just feel the ambiance and rest. The best thing when working on a tight schedule is to know that you have a place to go home to and a family waiting for you.

Examen: A Prayer Practice

Once in a while, it is a good practice to look back and evaluate the life that you lived for the past days, months, or years. Have you been living your life to the fullest?

It's been years since I started keeping a journal. Though I don't write on a daily basis, I can still look back at my journals and recall significant events in my life. I have written various notes, including ones that do not make sense, prayers, poems, and reflections and even just a recount of a day's events. When I open my journal, I can't help but thank God to where he brought me thus far. It's always a good thing to examine a life and learn from mistakes and plan for the future.

The Prayer of Examen
This prayer practice allows you to look back through your day or your entire life, or through your ministry program. It leads you to a time of evaluation and at the same time discernment. While praying, the pray-er will be able to pay attention to his/her emotions and become aware of God's presence throughout the day. It was established by Saint Ignatius.

More often than not, when I embark in the prayer of examen, I use John Wesley's self examination questions. The Holy Club used these questions during their Wednesday meetings to check on each other's devotion to God.

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Do I confidentially pass on to others what has been said to me in confidence?
3. Can I be trusted?
4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
5. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
6. Did the Bible live in me today?
7. Do I give the Bible time to speak to me every day?
8. Am I enjoying prayer?
9. When did I last speak to someone else of my faith?
10. Do I pray about the money I spend?
11. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
12. Do I disobey God in anything?
13. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
14. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
15. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
16. How do I spend my spare time?
17. Am I proud?
18. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
19. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
20. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
21. Is Christ real to me? 

Know more about Examen here.

From Creating a Life with God by Daniel Wolpert, here is a step-by-step guide to prayer of examen.

• Choose a period of time to examine in prayer. This can be a day, a week, or a specific event.
• Allow your mind to wander through that period of time. Some questions you might ask yourself about that period include:
• When am I most/least grateful for during that time?
• When did I feel a sense of love, peace, joy, life (the gifts of the Spirit)?
• When did I feel exhausted, dead, drained, angry, mean?
• What specific events, thoughts, or experiences, draw my attention?
• What aspects of that time repel me?
• What moments from that time speak to me of my deeper desires?
• What things feel out of place, uninteresting?
• Ask yourself, When did I notice God during this time? What felt like a time of God's absence?
• As some answers to these questions arise, notice what this tells you about the future. How is it that God is calling you into being? Toward what actions, activities, or attributws is God drawing you?
• Repeat this prayer at regular intervals in order to see how God is working in your life.

A Healthy Way through the Lenten Season

“What eating practices should I change?”

If there is one season when one should start changing for a healthier lifestyle, I think it should be during this Lent. Lent is a season of fasting and prayer, and fasting, I believe, should be done in consideration of the holistic renewal of a person—not only spiritually but also physically. One way or the other, the field medicine have proven that fasting has a lot of physical benefits.

Sure, there are different kinds of fasting, but for the sake of this post, I will concentrate on my personal commitment to a healthier eating habits this Lent and beyond.

See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit, you shall have them for food. –Genesis 1:29

since it enters, not the heart but the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? (Thus he declared all foods clean.) –Mark 7:19

Forget about soda. I am not really a fun of soda, I drink some occasionally but even though I know that there no nutritional value in it, I still drink. This time, I want to do do away with it. Instead, drink more water and homemade fresh fruit juices.

Chips and curls, and french fries. I believe I can live without these food except for occasional cravings. Oh my French fries, it is even ranked as one of the unhealtiest food but sometimes I am still tempted to eat, I hope I can resist.

Less meat, more fish. I am trying so hard. I am not a meat lover but when I am in school, most of the menu are meat and there’s no way I can eat something different. But at home, I make sure to cook more fish, even though my husband likes pork and beef a lot. Well, he has no choice but to eat my cooking; and later on, I know both of us will be healthier.

Increase vegetable and fruit intake. Again, I have to make a lot of effort for this especially for fruits. Fruits are very expensive but I think it really needs a budget. I am just glad the some green leafy vegetables grow in our front and back yards and anytime I want to eat, I can just go outside and pick.

Look more outside, not inside the refrigerator. I need to look more in our yard for food instead of the refrigerator. Vegetables are still healthier!

On another note, I have started reading the book “Food, Fitness, and Faith for Women.” It is with high hopes that I can keep with this healthy habits within 21 days. Because a study said that if you can do things for 21 days straight, there is a great probability that you can do it in the following days. So let me try and I promise to let you know if my improvement.

The Lord’s Prayer: An Ash Wednesday Reflection

When I was younger, it felt weird to see people going to school or office with imposed cross made of ashes in their forehead. I didn’t seem to be cool and it was meaningless for me. I know it was Ash Wednesday and it is a yearly service where my Roman Catholic friends and other people go to. Then after that, they are longer allowed to eat meat on Fridays until Easter. But what is Ash Wednesday anyway? It was so insignificant. We never celebrated it in our local church. My parents could not even explain to me. So all the while I had this idea in my head that Ash Wednesday is a pagan practice.

I think it was only in 2007 when I first attended an Ash Wednesday service. I was accompanying a friend. It was then when that I fully understand the reason and I gladly submitted myself and had my forehead imposed with cross made of ashes.

“Ash Wednesday emphasizes a dual encounter: we confront our mortality and confess our sin before God within the community of faith. The form and content of the service focus on the dual themes of sin and death in the light of God’s redeeming love in Jesus Christ” (From United Methodist Book of Worship). The ashes are used as a symbol of our immortality and repentance, and having your forehead imposed with ashes is a sign of participating in the acts of repentance and reconciliation.

If you are wondering where the ashes came from, it is traditional to save the palms during Palm Sunday the previous year, then burn them for the ashes. Other churches, creatively in their services, asked the congregation to write their sins in a piece of paper then brought to the altar to be burned together with the palms.

By the sweat of your face you shall it bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken, you are dust, and to dust you shall return. –Genesis 3:19 (NRSV)

The Beginning of the 40-day Journey
Ash Wednesday also marks the 40 days, not counting Sundays, until the Resurrection Sunday or Easter. This 40 days is called the Lenten Season in the Christian Calendar. This is the time for repentance, prayer and reflection. (And sometimes a time when most people are kind, patient, and forgiving.)

Today’s reading on the 40-Day Lenten Journey is Matthew 6:9-15, which is the prayer taught by Jesus to his disciples, commonly called The Lord’s Prayer.

This is really a wonderful prayer to begin this season. Even if it seem to be just one of the memorized prayers in the congregation, The Lord’s Prayer has gained a great significance in my life. Many times when I am distressed, I just pray it slowly and repeatedly until comfort and discernment comes.

Jesus, in this prayer, taught the disciples to pray about practical needs: daily bread, debt forgiveness, and protection from temptation. So when I don’t know what to ask in prayer, I just go on and recite The Lord’s Prayer until words are formed. I deeply assured with Jesus’s words, “…for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Prayer seem to be the easiest spiritual discipline that a Christian could do, but when did you actually prayer?

Let us begin with The Lord’s Prayer:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors.
And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from evil one.
(For yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory now and forever.) Amen.

40 Days Lenten Journey

This Lenten Season, I will be using the following chart to journey throughout the 40 days (February 22 to April 8, except Sundays). I made this for Discipleship Resources-Philippines and shared it with some people with the hope of journeying together as individuals and even with their congregations. Feel free to download and use it. Let us share the essence of Christ's suffering for the salvation of the world.

This is the season for prayer, repentance, reflection, practicing spiritual disciplines, and for living out our faith. My hope is that this 40 days will change my life.

When You're Running Out of Time

If there is equality among human beings, it is with "time." We are equally given 24 hours a day. Imagine if you have a boss who gives you a per diem of $84,000 but at the end of the day, you need to give him back everything you have not spent. What would you do? Of course, you may do everything in your power and spend all the money. Well, you have such a boss and his name is Time. Everyday, you are given 84,000 seconds but at the end of the day, Time gets everything. You will not be able to re-live anything unspent.

But what if time already become the currency, when you need to buy time in order to live?

I watched the movie In Time (directed and produced by Andrew Niccol, starring Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried, released in October 2011) on the plan en route to the US. I was thrilled with the idea that time is the currency but like in the current world where people kill for money, people in that future world kill others to buy them sometime to live.

By 2161, humans are given only 25 years to live but by genetic alteration, one stops aging at 25 but needs to earn time to continue living. If you have more time, you are rich and can live even a century and immortality could even be possible. Time is transferrable and could be shared among individuals. Any available time one has is displayed in an implant on the lower arm. Transferring time is as easy as holding one's hand. When that time display reaches zero, the person dies instantly. In that world, time made the world so much unequal.

The society is divided into classes and each class live in a certain time zones. Crossing time zones is not prohibited but if you are poor, that is the last thing you want to do. When you cross a time zone, you need to deposit at least one month of your time. As you approach the richest city, the amount of time you have to pay increases. The rich rules the world and they have the power to loan time to people and take it back with interest. They also have the power to increase the costs of living. Their goal is to make more time and become richer while the poor, working so hard becomes poorer and run out of time.

So what if you know the exact time of your death and you can even watch the clock ticks on your arms? What an agony that is! But that could even be beneficial, at least you will know how much time left for you to do things you could have done before or do things you really wanted to. At least you and your family could prepare, contrary if the doctor pronounced that you still have six months to live yet you don't know the exact time. It could be sooner.

It made me even more realized that time is really precious. Even though I cannot see my living time ticks, I know that I should spend and invest time wisely. Time might be running out... even as I write this. There were instances that I could have wanted a longer day, or an additional day in the week but agonizing with those does not add time to my life but living time is subtracted every second, every ticking of the clock. Time flies so easily, indeed.

So what would you do to ensure that you will not run out of time?

Family Vacation in Bacolod

I am not really good in making travelogues. I have been to a lot of places but I don't think I was even able to write about two or three. But I will try this time to cover the memories of our family trip in Bacolod.

Bacolod is the home of the Maskara Festival and known as the City of Smiles. It is the capital city of Negros Occidental.

Transportation
We flew into Bacolod Silay Airport via Cebu Pacific around 6:30 in the evening. The airport is more or less 30 minutes away from the city proper. There are taxis and vans in the arrival area. We took the van, since they said it is more economical. It cost PhP150 each. But going to the airport on our last day, we took a taxi for PhP500. If you are traveling alone, it's really economical to take the van but if you're in a group, you can just divide the taxi fare. Van terminal going to the airport is located in front of SM.

Transportation in the city is very accessible. You can choose taxi, jeep, bus, tricycle or pedicab. Walking is also good because there are interesting places just around the capitol area.

Places of Interest

If you are into nature trips, go to Mambukal Resort in Brgy. Minoyan, Murcia. We rode a bus from Libertad market and after one and a half hours we arrive at the welcoming entrance of Mambukal Resort. There are a lot of things you can do there--swimming in the fresh water pool, mud bath in the hot spring, wall climbing, boating and zip line--but we chose to trek the seven falls.

Our trek guide said that most people stop at the third falls then go back down. But we challenged ourselves to climb up to the seventh. We were worried about our 59-year-old mom but even her took the challenge. After the third falls, the path is a bit steeper but there was no turning back. The water falls are breathtaking! We took some time to rest at the sixth falls because the last falls is 15 more minutes walk. At the seventh falls, the water was so cold, it feels like you are dipping into an iced water.

From the seventh falls, we walk back around 10 minutes and from there, we rode a single motorcycle to go down back to the resort. We paid PhP50 each.

The following day, we had our city tour. Thanks to a friend who showed us around. Places we have been include the Capitol Center, Provincial Park and Lagoon, Pope John Paul II Tower, San Sebastian Cathedral, Palacio Episcopal, Bacolod Plaza, and ANP Showroom.

The Pope John Paul II Tower is an interesting place. It is situated behind SM mall, a seven-floor tower you can climb to the top, learn about history and view the cityscape and port area. The island of Guimaras and Mt. Kanlaon are just on the background.

ANP Showroom showcase different native products are very affordable prices. But if you are a foodie, do not forget to bring home piyaya and barquillos from Bong Bong's.

Accommodation

We stayed in Bacolod Pension for only PhP550 a night. Pension houses are very convenient if you are on a budget. Also, most of them are located in the city proper and very accessible to transportation and places to eat.

Food

Bacolod is really a food place. On our first meal is Chicken Inasal--the food Bacolod is famous for. Many said that you did not go to Bacolod if you have not tasted their chiken inasal. True, the taste of authentic inasal is different. Try Chiken House at 24th Lacson.

Do not miss Calea, too. It is best for dessert and coffee. It is also located along Lacson Avenue. It was recommended by my brother's friend. We searched and walked one night to find it. The ambiance of the place is relaxing coupled with the warm smiles of their waitresses.

Finally, also a must eat, Bulalo (or Kansi) at Sharyn's located at Narra Street. Sharyn's Cansi House was awarded by Department of Tourism and Philippine Daily Inquirer to have the best bulalo.

The funniest sign ever! This is the sign that you are already near the seventh falls.

To cap my Bacolod trip, I went around SM and saw my book Jollyboats: Journeying through College at the PCBS store.

Lastly, a reminder to all travelers: leave your umbrella at home or place it in your check-in luggage or it will end up in this box. ;)

We Will All Be Changed

Today is the beginning of 2012 Week of Prayer for Christian Unity with the theme: "We will all be changed by the victory of our Lord Jesus Christ." The theme is based on 1 Corinthians 15:51-58. It is with the hope that as we pray for the unity of the church, we will be changed and transformed to be like Christ.

Here are the thematic reflection throughout this week:
Day 1 - Changed by the servant Christ
Day 2 - Changed through patient waiting for the Lord
Day 3 - Changed by the suffering Servant
Day 4 - Changed by the Lord's victory over evil.
Day 5 - Changed by the peace of the Risen Lord
Day 6 - Changed by God's steadfast love
Day 7 - Changed by the Good Shepherd
Day 8 - United in the Reign of Christ

Last night, my husband and I had a sort of evaluation and reflection about the things we are going through. Admittedly, as we go through this period of transition in our marriage, there are really a lot of adjustments and changes. As we continued to reflect, I was reminded of Matthew 6:33, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."

As we go through our married lives, we believe that we need to change and transform our lives into the persons God is shaping us to be.

Even though we regularly have our devotion and prayer time, we thought that we really need to engage our faith more often. Maybe a regular examen, too, is in proper. We usually have this time to evaluate ourselves only if we have arguments. As the verse say, we need to change priorities: Seek the God first. Because of our busy lifestyle and work, sometimes our devotion time in morning and our prayer at bedtime are enough to say that we have involved God in our day. But seems not. These times become like a routine and seem to lose their meanings as we go through the day.

Everyday is an opportunity to learn; and learning, I believe, is a process. Since we can not learn everything in just one day, one month or even one year of marriage, some attitudes should be changed, too. Learning about your spouse is an everyday journey. What you learned about him/her today may not be true in about a month or so. People change and situations change; but if you can not change the person into someone you want him/her to be, pray that your attitude toward that person be changed. Respond rather than react--responding means allowing yourself to reflect first and think about the next thing you are going to say or do.

This New Year, I did not make resolutions or listed down new things I want to impose to myself (but I have listed goals), instead I am allowing each day to teach me lessons. Also, allowing God to change me little by little everyday into the person He intended me to be.

Overcoming Acid Reflux

I was diagnosed with gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) in 2008 and even though sometimes it still recur, I am more cautious now and at least I know what to do. GERD is a more serious form of gastroesophageal reflux or acid reflux or acid regurgitation. If you have persistent heartburn occurring at least twice a week, consult you doctor. You may have GERD.
For me, it started with the feeling of having hyperacidity and hungry even if I have just eaten. Then I experienced vomiting after a meal or the feeling of it even if I was just brushing my teeth. I was not anorexic! But it seemed like my stomach has so much acid that it does not want to accept my food intake. There even came a time when I didn't even want to eat because I hated the feeling of throwing up after a meal.
What I did not know was the food I am fond of eating aggravates my conditions. Here are some of the food I loved eating but needed to avoid:

• coffee and tea
• orange juice and everything citrus
• vinegar and other sour condiments
• spicy foods
• spaghetti and other tomato-based foods
• chocolate and other chocolate-based foods
• potato chips and other potato-based foods

I was not ready to give up coffee and sour foods. I tried to trim down my coffee in take, but still it did not worked. Until such time that I really want to get over GERD and live a little healthy.

Give up coffee. That was one of the most difficult. I love coffee and it has been a great part of my being. Its aroma sets my mood and it really keeps me awake during the night. But I knew, this is one of the first to give up. (I am now back at coffee drinking but not as much as before.)

Switch to apple juice. Though I want apples and apple juice, I never imagined to be the replacement of my best loved coffee. But according to doctors, this is one of the best treatment of GERD. So for two weeks, I tried to drink just apply juice and water and I know it is working. Apple juice stabilizes the acidity of your stomach and it helps in the right digestion of food.

An apple a day. We always hear the saying, “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.” So be it! At first, I had to take ranitidine. It was a good medicine but more expensive. Apples are healthier.
Know more about GERD here.

Avoid stressful activities. This is one of the most difficult to do. I am always caught in stressful activities with my many commitments. But at least I learned to say “no” and to slow down. I took a spiritual retreat to renew my strength and just avoid being stressed.

Hydrate. One of the best therapy that we can have is to drink a lot of water. Through drinking lot of water, we can flush out toxins out of our body. For me not to forget to drink water, I always get a glass of water in front of me in my working area. I know I needed it badly.

Applying for Schengen Visa

I applied for Schengen visa twice so I can visit Germany. I went to Germany in 2010 for the Global Young People’s Convocation Planning Team meeting, and in 2011 for the Convocation and Legislative Assembly proper. In both applications, there were difficulties and uniqueness so I decided to revise a previous entry and repost my experiences here.

TRIVIA: Schengen Visa is valid for Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxemburg, Malta, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Slovenia, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden and Switzerland. If you got this kind of visa, you are free to move from one country to the other.

Visit the German Embassy website. My first step is to visit the German Embassy website and take note of all the requirements. There are different requirements depending on the purpose of travel. The following are the general requirements to be submitted in original and photocopy:

1. Application form duly completed (including date and signature of applicant). This can be downloaded in PDF format.
2. Two (2) recent passport photographs with applicant’s full name and birth date written on the back.
3. Valid passport (valid for at least 3 months after expected date of return; passport must not be damaged) and Xerox copy of the applicant’s passport (pages containing data and Schengen-Visas).
4. (for business) Invitation letter in German language, confirmed hotel reservation stating name, date of birth and passport number of applicant.
5. Proof of health insurance valid for all Schengen States covering an amount of € 30.000 in case of illness, repatriation and/or accidents and accredited by the Schengen-Embassies in Manila.

So I already have my passport and have accomplished the application form. I have secured by airline booking ahead of time, too.

Duration of stay. In the application form, you are asked to state how many days you plan to stay in the Schengen territories. You may want to add a day or two just to be sure you are covered.

During my second application, I requested for 16 days, that’s the exact days but was only granted 15 days. I did not notice that until I was already checking in at the airport. I had to rebook my flight and pay a large sum of dollars just to follow what is written in my visa.

I had to cut my stay in Italy (from Germany, I flew to Rome) a day shorter to accommodate the expiration of my visa.

Call the Embassy and secure an interview appointment. This step is I think the most difficult to do. At least in my second application, we were in a group; so one of us volunteered to call the embassy for all.

Unlike with the US Embassy where you can set a visa interview appointment online, German Embassy need you to call their call center. It was not an easy dialing and talking call. It is a toll number assigned to every service provider. It’s very expensive as it cost PhP32-37 a minute.

I tried calling using the landline but I cannot get through it. It says “The number you dialed is not yet assigned.” Again, slowly this time. The same answer. So I called customer service to verify of our phone’s IDD is active, and they said yes. Dialed again, the same answer. I called the General Inquiries phone of the embassy to ask if there is a problem in their number. They said none. Dialed the toll number again, the same answer. I called Bayantel customer service again to check and the CRS says there is a service error in our account.

Since the matter can’t wait, because of the minimum days requirement for application is 15 days and I urgently needed an appointment, I loaded ₱500 credits on my cellphone. Dialed and not connected. I called Globe’s customer service to check again if IDD is active on my handset and they said yes. I asked for the instruction in calling a toll number. Dialed and at last I got an answering machine then a Customer Service representative. I was trying to give my name when the call dropped. Dialed again. I was in the middle of giving my passport number when the call dropped again. On the third call, I was spelling the address of my host when the call dropped. I run out of credits. So I need to load up again. Finally, I was able to set up an appointment but have spent almost a ₱1,000 just for that. The calls took so long because I needed to spell everything with the phonetic alphabet (alpha, bravo, charlie, etc.).

So before calling, be sure to know the phonetic alphabet or at least have a copy with you. Correct spelling is the key for a faster call.

Get a recent passport size picture. I needed to make sure the photographer follows the picture requirements. Yes, there are specifications. You can view it here on page 4.

Appear at the Embassy. The instruction said, be at the embassy 30 minutes prior to the appointed time. The usual traffic to Makati every morning delayed me for some time but it was fine. The embassy is at 25/F RCBC Tower 2 in Ayala. I proceeded immediately to the lobby where I signed my name and get my visitor’s ID. When I arrived at the 25th floor, an arrogant guard greeted me and checked my bag. Upon inspecting, he told me that I should have deposited my laptop at the lobby. Obediently, I went down again and left my laptop. Going back to the guard, he let me in. At the window, I was given a waiting number. That time, I knew I had to forget my appointment time and just wait for my number to be called. I walked to the other side of the hall, left my cellphone at the locker, got my key and entered the room.

At least, there were less people compared to the US Embassy when I had to line up for three hours. There, I was sitting pretty. Just waiting patiently and a little nervous. When my name was called, I immediately appeared at the window with a Filipino woman consul. She got my forms and payment but instructed me to get more requirements, a travel insurance and my confirmed hotel booking. I did not have those documents with me then because the invitation letters said that the DMYP and my host shall take care of all expenses. While she was talking to me, I observed that she stamped my passport. I knew then that it was approved. If not, she should have given back my passport. Then, I paid the visa fee worth €60 or its peso equivalent, ₱3870.00. Then left, thinking where in the world will I get a travel insurance and how would I pay for it.

Get a travel insurance with US$50,000 coverage. Yes, that is the minimum coverage or at least ₱2.5 million. That same day after the application, I surveyed the accredited insurance companies and ask about travel insurance to Schengen countries and how much it worth. I got the best deal with Mafre Insular for only US$25 or ₱1208.50. I just needed to wake up early morning the following day and go to their office in Ortigas.

During the second application, DMYP sent us an insurance coverage certification but the company is no longer accredited with the Embassy, so we needed to look for one that is on their list. Not all insurance company that provides travel insurance coverage are good.

I did not have any trouble with my hotel booking it was sent to me via email the following day. So two days after the application, I went back to the embassy to submit the remaining requirements. I could have used their accredited courier but it would cost me ₱160 plus the cost of calling their toll number again. So better find time going back to the embassy.

Upon submission of the requirements, the consul told me to go home and wait for my passport to be delivered after two weeks.

Wait, wait, wait patiently. This is I think the hardest part. There is no specific time or day when my passport will be delivered. I was just told two weeks. And to follow-up I need to call the toll number again… too much expense. I had a lot of appointments and I was worried if I miss the courier. There is not always a person staying at home. Gladly the CSR at the embassy told me to follow-up on July 1 to see if my passport can be released on that date. I was worried because I am scheduled to fly on July 6, Monday and July 1 is a Wednesday. What if, it is not delivered in time for my flight. Well, I just have to put my trust in them and (with the Lord).

July 1. I called the Visa Section of the embassy. The one who answered me says the visa cannot be followed-up over the phone. I need to call the toll number to verify it. So I tried to call but all get was the answering machine repeatedly saying the spiel. I just waited for half day. Then I tried again. Finally, I got through and someone answered affirming that my passport and visa was released yesterday and scheduled for delivery today. So I wait.

Return to the Embassy. When required, go back to the embassy when you arrive. I wasn’t required the first time but on my second time, when we travelled in group, some of us got a sticker on our passport that says:

“The applicant is required to report back to the German Embassy in Manila within 10 days after expiration of his/her visa. If he/she fails to report, further visa applications will be rejected.”

There are other provisions like the person holding the visa should not get married or get a job while in the Schengen area. So to have a clean bill of health, I went back to the embassy to have my visa cancelled.

I just hope next time, the embassy will have a new system that will allow online appointment and bank deposit for payment for a lesser cost and more efficient use of time.

Small Changes, Big Results

Today is the best day to change your life, thus the tag line of Jerry Foster‘s book, Small Changes, Big Results (2004).

Though it present itself as a self-help book, it is rather inspirational. It does not shout at your throat what you should do step-by-step to change your life but it has examples of real people and real experiences that will help the reader realize about his own circumstances in life. It presents practical principles and strategies that are easy to adopt as they enable you to be more conscious or aware of the choices that you make today.

The book is very imaginative. It lets you think your own “what ifs” and “how ifs” and lead you to rethink the things, events and choice that you made and all the possible cumulative outcome in the future. It will make you see into those small things that seemingly insignificant but can create big changes in the future. The author wants the readers not to disregard the small things but see it as a part of a holistic development of a person. Also, he encourages relationships, something that many people neglects in this very busy and fast paced world.

Since the author of the book is a businessman, there are business jargon throughout the text but nonetheless they are well explained and related to life situations; and they make the book more practical and realistic because you are assured that many of it are based from the personal experience of the author that worked over time. The book drives the readers to answer the questions, “Who am I?” and “What am I here for?” through discovering one’s potential and maximizing talents as they are intended to be.

The Vector Principle
Foster used the vector principle in his presentation of the choices that a person makes in his/her life. The principle states that each choice you make vectors you (direct, change angle) to a certain destination. “You are currently on a course that was determined by choices you made since you were aware of your capacity to choose. Many of these choice seemed rather insignificant at the time, but small changes make a big difference over time.”

It does not matter whether you are in your twenties, forties or sixties as long as you are conscious of your choices and decisions, you can still change for a fruitful and well-lived life. A person can choose to invest  his/her life toward the path of indifference, path of indulgence, or path of influence. The path of indulgence is the self-centered life. The path of indifference, on the other hand, is existence-centered life. Finally, the part of influence is an others-centered life.

Foster leads the readers to take the path of influence which is characterized by the transformation of other people, personal satisfaction seeing others benefit, and broader perspective in life. This is the path that is grounded on relationships and vision. It strengthens the claim of John Wooden that “Real happiness and success comes from things that cannot be taken from you.” Those things are the legacy that a person can leave after his/her life of earth. Those things are the relationships that are build in love, and visions realized in confidence that bring out the best of life.

Five lifeWealth
Foster coined the term lifeWealth to describe the full investment that a person can make in his/her. It is “The accumulation of financial, relational, physical, intellectual and spiritual capital. (Here goes the business lingo!)

The author encourages each person to invest into the five lifeWealth. These can be treated like a bank where a person can deposit every choices or results that come after, good or bad, for future usage. The profitability of these investments depend on how a person manages them to comply to the vision he/she has in mind or want to accomplish for the future for his/her own life.

This lifeWealth principle leads the reader to evaluating each aspect and plotting vision that are realistic and can gain profit over time. The author has provided strategies how to evaluate and plan toward attaining the fullness of life. Though the book discusses so much of the future, it does not neglect the “now”, in fact it has given it importance because the “now” determines the future. And in the end, the person shall enjoy contentment.

I found this book in the shelf of Christian/Inspirational. The author has quoted some Biblical foundations and personalities to explain his points but even though, I still think that his principles apply whether you are a Christian or not—because all person come into a point in life when they become aware of their choices and have the ability to choose.

Author: Jerry Foster with Ed Stewart
Year Published: 2004
Publisher: Fleming H. Revell

The Best Things in Life are Free

Many of us do not realize that the best things in life are actually free. It is because we are confined in a very materialistic world and we measure the best things in terms of price, weight, karat, size, model, etc. In this book, however, Todd Outcalt reminded me of the things that I have but not really aware of them—those things that make me happy—people, faith, love, hope, work and experiences. It is not actually the material things that define a person. He wrote, “the best things often happen to us when we are not aware of them.” True enough, as I flipped through the pages, it made the realize that I have taken some things for granted.

I got the book from a book table display, it was the author’s gift to Jeff and Arlene (whoever they are). And because they received it for free, they gave it away for free. Have you ever tried “free taste”? Product manufacturers and promoters let prospective customers taste their products for free to let people know that theirs are the best. And “free taste” really are best compared to the same products found on the shelves.

This book made me more conscious of the things I see and feel and more aware of my environment. It made me notice the the simple things and pleasures that may remain unnoticeable when I am always busy or rushing. For example, a street kid smiling at me brightens up the day.

The book is divided into five parts where Outcalt pours his experiences and the lessons he learned in his entire life. This is sort of an autobiographical account of the author but it is also his biographical account for the people he encountered that taught him the best things in life. Though the narratives came from the stories of his childhood and adulthood, his lenses are very sharp to capture the moments. He used very elaborate words of description as if wanting the readers to experience the same in their own eyes.

The book is "about the small gifts of life." After careful assessment, Outcult stated the following conclusions:

• We value family and friends and children more than things.
• We all want to love and be loved.
• We'd rather laugh than cry.
• An actual sunset is more awesome than a picture of sunset.
• We all want to achieve something in life.
• We cherish our memories more than our knowledge.
• We desire to help others.
• We all hope and believe in something or someone greater than ourselves.
• Rest is more satisfying after a hard day's work.

Author: Todd Outcalt
Year of Publication: 1998
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL